


Rabid

by SatansBathtub



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anorexia, Anxiety, Betrayal, Bulimia, Child Neglect, Cigarettes, Depression, Drug Abuse, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Gore, Guns, High School, Love, M/M, POV Sebastian Michaelis, Psychosis, Runaway, Sad, Self-Harm, Sex, Sexual Abuse, Small Towns, Suicide, Teen Angst, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2019-07-25 09:18:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16194602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatansBathtub/pseuds/SatansBathtub
Summary: Everyone seems to have the same intrusive thoughts. Teenagers, from an outsider's point of view, whatever they're going through is never nearly as bad they describe it. Smoke your weed and go to the party and you'll have stories to tell your children once you're settled down and they've grown up. Sneak out of your house and the only consequence you will face is a lecture from your parents. Fuck around with whoever you want, it won't matter in a month. Realize that even if everyone's thoughts, actions, and intentions are the same, it will never equate to the same fate or future. Those who were never lucky enough to settle down or face the lecture are the people we hope to never become or think we will never become.I, Sebastian Michaelis, have become the person I never wanted to become.





	Rabid

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written any actual stories since summer 2017 and decided just last week to start this even though I've been planning this story in my head for a while, this is progress! I wanted to write something loosely inspired by my own life and the areas I'm familiar with too. I'm completely delirious as of right now it's very late and my eyes are drooping as I'm typing this up so here is the story...

               I returned home from St. James Anglican Church mid-afternoon, lips chapped from the harsh winds that returned quickly after the breath of hell which in itself, was the hazy summer of 2009. After volunteering my time picking up after Saturday’s playgroup and tending to wounds they had caused to themselves by spending too much time with the group leader’s cat that she had brought in for the morning. Despite the cat being more scar rather than fur and far more aggressive than any alley cat you could encounter, its presence was appreciated by the children for the most part and kept them entertained so I didn’t have to. For a village, the church I was bound to my entire life was a massive Victorian-like structure made up of grey cobblestone and green growing in and out the cracks of those stones. Windows of different shapes and sizes lined the building, few of those windows weren’t stained glass, most of them were. The trees on either side of the tall oak doors changed with the seasons, as they should, but at the moment they were gnarled and sickly. I doubt they’d hold up past the coming winter. Finally, on the off-chance that it was sunny in Morrisburg, your eyes would ache trying to look up at the cross standing on top of the structure, it would look as small as the sun from where you’d be standing.

 

               Unlike the week before, I didn’t have to spend an hour picking burrs off the back of their shirts, it’s getting colder much sooner than it did last September which is fine by me, the less the kids play outside the less liable I am for one of them going missing. I only mention it because it did happen once, still, it was long before I even started getting my community service hours done. Now, I only dread that first breath of cool air that freezes my lungs for the entirety of the walk. The heater isn’t working yet either but by the time it starts up I’m sure I’ll be done my hours by then. Clearly, there isn’t an abundance of opportunities or places where I’m able to do so and St. James once a week for two hours a day was more than I could bear. Before it had been far more than only two hours a week for my family and I were regulars until I was around thirteen, I still do not know why we stopped attending and frankly I don’t care I’m just glad that’s not the case anymore.

 

               It’s possible that my dad could’ve dropped me off but he had been leaving the house at the break of day to spend his Saturdays trapshooting with his colleagues from work an hour away from home. A hobby that he had picked up a while ago when he got his license after a three-day long course that I tagged along to. It was led by a man well into his sixties and supervised by his wife who told me I reminded her of her nephew. He then went on to purchase two shotguns and a rifle I could’ve sworn the day his license came in the mail, he keeps them under lock and key in the basement.

 

               I’ve joined him several times on his shooting trips but honestly, the place he goes to is the epitome of white trash. The men that work there are nearly deaf with cheap smelling cigarettes hanging from the corner of their mouths. Few of them were young but those of them who were were ungroomed and sporting the last of their trucker hats like they were going out of style.

 

               I was promised my own gun on my sixteenth birthday, I didn’t ask for it but I did appreciate it. Since my dad’s a man of his word I woke up to an unloaded 20 gauge pointed at my head that morning and just for that he got scolded for it by my mother for the rest of the day. She teaches a grade three class full time at the public school and comes home drained every day. I don’t see her very much she’s always either doing prep work, sleeping or finishing her day off with a glass of diluted red wine, otherwise, she gets headaches. I don’t know much about her beyond that.

 

               With everyone almost always out of the house, I learned to enjoy my alone time very young. Our area of residence didn’t have many children, the township is a turnoff for young couples planning to start a family, mostly in price and always has been. The only other child my age that I knew (that was until I started going to school in the city) was very timid upon meeting him for the first time. Using that to my advantage, I used to play plenty of tricks on him, weave tales of horror and recount murder and kidnapping cases I’d seen on TV. When we were a little older I’d forced him into a couple abandoned houses off the main road. Ones with ugly vintage wallpaper peeling from water damage and old age which made the patterns look grotesque. There were houses with holes in their roofs too that provided our ventures with some light when we forgot our flashlights. There was a lot of vermin in the houses too, they were scattered all over the floors both dead and alive. At first we shooed the rats away with sticks and brooms and whatever other crap we could find in the house but eventually we grew a tolerance for them and even expected them to be there, otherwise, it wasn’t fun.

 

               Both of our parents decided that we would be better off going to school in the city and I didn’t mind but Ciel did, he doesn’t like the traffic of people’s everyday working lives but I have to remind him that we’re working there ourselves. Neither does he like our township, not for a while now at least and I don’t think he likes it anywhere. But we do spend a lot of time at my house these days, mostly smoking and other times taunting rabbits in my backyard. In fact, that’s what we’ve been doing today. I had gotten home a quarter past two after a fifteen-minute walk that smelled like sickly sweet apples that had fallen from the trees along my path home. I brought that smell to the house with me after stepping in a few of those apples, and Ciel, who had beaten me to my own house had the TV on for background noise whilst he was sleeping on the sofa in the living room. I slammed the door behind me to try and get him to budge but without such luck, I untied the laces on my sneakers and threw them against the door but again, nothing. I put them aside and walked towards the sofa, moving his legs aside to make space for myself. There wasn’t much to do besides waste my time watching the news on max volume until he woke up.


End file.
